The things I do for you
by NickKnack
Summary: Jackson and April will do anything for each other- they're best friends. But why? Is there something more?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note; Ok so this is a continuation of "Sleepless in Seattle Literally" which went better down than I expected. Basically I'm newly obsessed with "Japril" and this will definitely be pro-them. Here they are not in a relationship (as yet) and are still very in tune with the beginning of season 7 although as my story progresses that might change. As for suggestions they are welcomed warmly and please feel free to review- although bear in mind I'm new to this so go easy with the criticism ;) Thanks NickKnack**

Jackson sat thoughtfully in the passenger seat of April's car which was parked outside of Meredith's house, thinking about the day that lay ahead of him. Until an hour ago he thought he'd be doing the usual- rounds, surgery, lunch etc. That was then. Now he knew he was to going to a councillor to talk about his "problem" as April had christened it. Despite agreeing to it, mostly for April's sake, every inch of him dreaded the thought.

April ran down the drive way and bounced into the driver's seat of the car.

"I knew I left it upstairs" she said out of breath, clutching her phone. "I'm ready to go now." she beamed cheerfully. Jackson smiled at her in response although happiness it was the last emotion he was feeling at that point.

"Let's go then" he replied secretly wishing he could just go back inside were there'd be no shrinks to psychoanalyse him.

April hummed along to the radio while Jackson sat fidgeting nervously. As they approached the hospital's car lot Jackson's stomach started to turn. April knew how hard it was for him to face this head on, she'd been at him for weeks trying to get him to open up but had until now failed. Now he was actually going to do it she felt horrible.

"You know you don't have to do this, right? I mean who cares if you have nightmares. I can deal with that. Am I being selfish asking you to do this?"she gushed. Jackson looked at her bemused, although he hated the thought of seeing a shrink (with a passion) he knew it was the best for both of their sakes.

"Are you kidding me? Of course you're not being selfish. I need to deal with this head on. I know that. If anyone's been selfish it's me. I'm the one who hasn't gotten help yet and us both go exhausted. It's gonna be fine- seriously. Don't worry, April!"He said so reassuringly he almost convinced himself.

After changing into scrubs Jackson and April checked which specialty they were assigned to. April was in Trauma with Hunt, Jackson was in Paedes with that idiot Stark who April had prior-warned him about.

"So you're sure you'll be ok to go alone? I can come with?" asked April

"I'll be fine." He said nonchalantly. He couldn't admit that he was petrified, not to April. He was trying his damndest to mask any sign of the fear he felt inside and be a man. "Now go kick some trauma ass Kepner!" he joked

"You got it!" she saluted cutely before dashing off to meet Hunt.

Jackson sighed heavily as he looked on, this was for her he thought. He had to do this, _for her._


	2. Chapter 2

April hurried towards the nurse's station where Owen Hunt stood checking some paperwork. He was too absorbed in the file to notice her coming.

"Dr Hunt," she coughed, grabbing his attention, he looked up "You've got me this week Sir."

"I know, Kepner, I requested you specifically." He smiled warmly

"Really? Why? I thought you might think I had a screw loose after the whole 'move or I'll run you over' thing." She blushed with embarrassment at the memory.

"I'll admit that it was an interesting turn of events but I was impressed with your dedication to the case" April nodded not quite sure where he was going with this "and I think that you have real potential in Trauma so, if you'd like, I want to put you on my service for the next few weeks so we can give you a feel for Trauma Surgery and see how it goes. What do you think?"

Silence followed April looked in shock. She couldn't believe what he was asking. April had been convinced her future was in Neuro or Paeds but she never even considered Trauma. Who'd have thought her inability to lose a game would open new doors for her. More silence followed as April considered her options. Trauma was hard but it would be great- all those surgeries, adrenaline and an attending who actually cared (unlike Stark). Hunt's eyebrows lowered with confusion as well as impatience. Realising 30 seconds of silence had passed April looked for the words but was too shocked to articulate properly so spat out something like "Eh, hell yeah!" ecstatically at which Hunt laughed and shook his head.

Meanwhile Jackson was sat outside the shrink's office. Clearly labelled on the door were the words _'Dr A. Perkins' _he'd come a few minutes early but regretted it instantly. He was on edge. He could feel and hear every vibration in the room from the clock ticking to his own erratic breathing. Sitting there he felt like he was waiting for it all to happen again, like the minute he stepped into the office he would have to relive it all over again. The gunshots, Derek bleeding, Meredith's sobbing, April's panicked face... for the first time in two months he would have to talk about all of that-something he couldn't even do with April never mind a stranger. It was too much. Like hell was he going through all that again. He stood up shakily and headed out the door. Walking away he heard his name being called out by the receptionist, it was time to talk to 'Dr A Perkins'.

Not today.


	3. Chapter 3

April had a smile plastered to her face for the rest of the day. She spent all morning running at the back of Hunt who was turning out to be a Trauma God as well as much better attending than Stark was. Sitting in the cafeteria alone April munched away at an apple perfectly content. April kept looking out for Jackson to pass so she could tell him her news when it dawned on her that she'd completely forgotten about his therapy session. Her happiness quickly turned to worry. She wondered how therapy had gone and felt a pang of guilt knowing how hard it would be for Jackson to open up about that day. At first she'd been the one who couldn't cope with it all- she was the weak one. She knew how painful it was just to think about that day. It was Jackson who had been the strong one in the aftermath of the shooting. He had kept it together while April bawled her eyes out uncontrollably. It was only after Charles' funeral that the nightmares began. Jackson was the one who put April back together and now it was time for her to return the favour. April hurriedly gathered her things and set out to find Jackson not quite knowing what to expect.

Jackson walked slowly towards the cafeteria. He knew April would be there having lunch. About an hour after abandoning his appointment with the shrink he realised what he'd done. He broke his promise. He knew he'd have to explain to April that he wasn't man enough to talk about his feelings, then he'd have to watch her give him that look- the one which showed just how disappointed she was in him. That image made him want to kick himself repeatedly. Why the hell didn't he go in and talk to the shrink? He knew that he had been irrational before. It couldn't be that bad- or could it? He was stuck between a rock and a hard place- an expression he had never known the true meaning of until now. He couldn't go to therapy, every time he thought about that day his pulse began to race and every part of him was as scared as it had been that day when the gun was pointed directly at him: But then he couldn't do nothing about his nightmares either, it was too unfair on April who'd gone through enough.

As Jackson approached the cafeteria doors, April burst out of them, narrowly avoiding a collision.

"Wow where's the fire?" April looked up at the sound of Jackson's voice

"There you are!" she exclaimed, relief was written in bold across her face. She searched Jackson's face for some indication of how his therapy session had gone. His eyes weren't puffy or blotchy from crying and he was still breathing (April didn't need a medical licence to know that was a good sign). He just stood there, obviously still reeling from their almost-crash but apart from that he looked the same as usual gorgeous (face it the guy's a model) and happy.

"Yeah, you in a hurry?" he asked casually

"I was going to find you actually," she responded before pulling him away from the doorway traffic and over to the side where she could talk to him without anybody else hearing. "How did it go?"

"What?" Jackson knew full well exactly what she was talking about but needed time to think. What would he say, was he supposed to own up to being a complete wimp and letting her down?

"You know, the therapy" she said as if it were obvious, which it was.

"Oh that!" 'stall Jackson stall' he thought "Sorry, right, yeah, well, see..." he couldn't do it the hopeful look on April's anticipating face was too much. Letting her down was something he could never bear to do-not intentionally anyway. "It was ok, yeah," he lied "It, um, wasn't too scary actually."A huge smile spread across April's face. Knowing Jackson was getting help pleased her to no end. All she wanted to help him pull himself back together and bit by bit they were getting there, therapy was the first hurdle and they'd overcome it (at least that's what she thought.)

"That's great. I'm so relieved! I knew you could handle it, and watch this space you'll be back to normal in no time."

"Let's hope so." muttered Jackson, guilt slapping him in the face. 'What have you done?' he thought to himself. Not only had he broke his promise but he'd lied straight to April's face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry haven't wrote in a while but don't worry Jackson is going to make some definite progress now and it's all going to come out and change some things. Keep reading : ) NickKnack**

Jackson stared silently at the ceiling in the dark. He looked at the clock and sighed, it read 4:32 am he'd been lying in bed for more than 4 hours- intentionally staying awake. After deceiving April about going to the shrink he'd realised that his plan was ultimately doomed: because if he continued to have nightmares she'd soon know something was up. So Jackson lay there thinking about everything and anything in order to stay awake and avoid the nightmares. Initially he'd hoped a eureka moment would come and he'd have a sudden epiphany which would solve his problems but now he realised he was truly screwed. He couldn't stay awake forever but he also couldn't bring himself to tell April how cowardly he'd been. Deep down Jackson knew he'd have to face that damn psychiatrist in the end- just not right now. Right now he had to remain conscious, despite his drooping eyelids and the creeping exhaustion he felt. On the plus side he felt better knowing as long as he was awake and not screaming his head off April was getting a good night's sleep.

April was wrapped up in her duvet, all warm and comfy, her head encased in pillow. It was the first night in more than 2 months she'd had a good sleep. Even as she lay unconscious she smiled. She dreamed contently- her dreams never did make much sense but pictures and faces often flashed up, some were random but some were regulars like Jackson (who sometimes appeared topless, although April would never admit: not even to herself). A buzzing sound made April come to and she stretched before leaning over to turn off the alarm which the buzzing was coming from. The action seemed strange to her as she was so used to being woken by Jackson's screams. A minute later April practically sprung out of bed realising the night had passed without a single scream and made her way downstairs.

Jackson was sitting over a bowl of cornflakes in the kitchen with a huge cup of coffee by his side to ease his exhaustion. April glided into the kitchen more cheerful than usual. Jackson knew exactly why.

"Gooood morning!" she said

"Morning" was about all Jackson could mumble in return.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked expecting a positive response

"Great. Em... really well." Lied Jackson, knowing he'd done the exact opposite. "Yeah, you were right. Shrink's obviously helping."

April beamed at him in her usual way, "Well I won't say I told you so," she joked

"But you did," Jackson smiled finishing her sentence for her.

"Uhuh I did!" she giggled before going to get ready for work

The morning went by as normal at the hospital. April and Hunt were in the ER while Jackson worked his tired ass off in paeds over-compensating for Stark's lack of bedside manner. By lunch he was about ready to collapse. April on the other hand was non-the-wiser and spent her day thinking Jackson had slept fine.

Jackson was hunched over the nurses' station doing some paperwork Stark had ordered him to do, when Dr Perkins was walking by and noticed him. Of all the times he could've been cornered by the shrink now really wasn't ideal as he looked like a ghost and was in no mood to talk to anyone. Perkins cautiously approached Jackson who looked up. Jackson had met Perkins after the shooting but that was only so he could be cleared for surgery. Standing there, Jackson prayed Perkins didn't recognize him.

April was on her way to the nurses' station to collect a patient's lab results. To her amazement Jackson was standing there talking to Dr Perkins. Neither of them noticed her but she could hear them clearly.

"Dr Avery I believe I had an appointment with you yesterday," said Perkins with a raised eyebrow. Jackson gulped averting his gaze, he stayed silent unable to come up with an adequate excuse for himself "If you'd like we can reschedule?"pressed the psychiatrist, trying not to sound too overbearing.

Nervously Jackson looked up "I...I'll need to check when I can. See, I'm really busy right now," He gestured to the paperwork "so I'll get back to you. Sorry about missing the appointment."

"No problem but please do stop by." Jackson just nodded obediently in response before rushing away.

Jackson had barely turned around when he saw April standing glaring at him with a look of complete shock smacked across her face. She'd obviously heard Perkins.

"Shit"


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note; Would just like to say I'm loving the increase in Japril lovers since the last episode. Fingers crossed the show's writers get that one going. Also I'd like to thank those loyal reviewers, you guys make my day. Keeping reading and reviewing everyone : ) NickKnack x**

Confusion and anger mixed for an uncomfortable knot in April's stomach. Right now she was furious but she wasn't sure who she was furious at- herself or Jackson? He'd lied to her (on several occasions) and yet she was more annoyed at herself. She'd let herself think she was helping him, that she was being the strong one, for once, but the whole time she been duped. She'd let herself believe Jackson actually cared about her enough to do something she knew he was scared of. She thought he cared for her. Maybe even... no he didn't, not in a million years. She knew she'd been an idiot to even consider that with Jackson. Jackson didn't care. He just wanted his annoying roommate to stop nagging him- at least that's what she thought and it was like a knife to her chest.

Jackson's mind had emptied completely. There were no words. The only thing he could register was the pretty brunette, his best friend, standing in front of him with anger-filled eyes. What the hell was he supposed to say? _'This time Avery you really have screwed up!'_ screamed the voice in the back of his head. She knew. She knew he'd lied to her face, betrayed her trust. She probably thought he was a complete jackass. Slowly April turned around and walked away. _'Oh dear god, what've you done?'_

"April... I...I can explain." He called stammered chasing after her.

Abruptly, she stopped half way down the corridor, where it wasn't as busy, and swivelled around.

"Explain what, Jackson? There's absolutely nothing to explain really is there? 'Cause I mean I get that you don't wanna talk about any of what happened, really I do, but to lie! Jackson, why lie?"

It was the most outraged Jackson had ever seen April become. The hurt was written all over her face and her eyes were filling up. Usually she'd run away embarrassed or crying but she just said what she felt. Today somehow she couldn't hold it in.

"I didn't want to disappoint you." he replied.

"Well. Look how that's worked out for you." That very second, April's pager started beeping. "I have to go." She said plainly. Jackson nodded knowing this was far from over.

April rushed to the E.R. where Hunt had a major trauma case and it was all hands on deck. It wasn't until long after her shift was supposed to end that she actually got home. She entered the house quietly and was headed for the kitchen to conjure up something to call dinner when she noticed Jackson was still up sitting in the living room, clearly waiting for her return. He looked at her apologetically but she just walked on into the kitchen. He followed her there. She was making a sandwich, refusing to look his way.

"April." She kept her head down. "Please, you've got to understand. I didn't do this to hurt you."

She sighed and looked up, "Then why? Why'd you let me think you'd gone? Why'd you let me believe you actually gave a crap about or respected my opinion? Huh? You could have just said- I would've shut up about the whole thing."

"I just... I didn't want to disappoint you."

"Yeah, you said that. But see I think you just didn't want to listen to me."

"What?" exclaimed Jackson baffled.

"I know I was nagging you to go to the shrinks okay. I know I'm like a dog with a bone but I was only trying to help. And it just hurts that you'd go as far as to lie rather than admit that you don't care. I thought that we were friends. After everything that day...and that's what friends do. They try to help. But obviously I was wrong and I'll but out but please don't treat me like an idiot" April was beginning to well up.

"What are you talking about? Of course we're friends." Jackson was angry at the accusation _'How in the hell could she think we're not friends?'_ "April you're my best friend. Why would you think we weren't? I didn't tell you because I didn't want to admit what a coward I was-not because I wanted to shut you up. I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry. I am but don't think I don't care. I probably care too much"

Jackson realised he'd said 'too much' literally. Now he was standing with April looking at him curiously with her beautiful (and now wet) puppy dog eyes. Had she understood or even noticed when said he cared too much?

"Too much?" she echoed his words

She'd noticed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note; Loved the comments on the last chapter, agree with you all. Japril is totally gonna happen. Please tell me what you think should happen next and if I should continue this on another story or just keep to "The things I do for you". Japril isn't over yet. Feedback is always appreciated and can I just say I adore all these other Japril stories popping up and am excited to read more, : ) NickKnack x**

An awkward moment passed. Her question remained unanswered as Jackson froze up. They both knew what he'd meant. At least April hoped that was what he'd meant because she felt the exact same way. She looked at him intensely, silently pleading for him to just say out loud what he felt because then she'd know she wasn't going crazy. She would know she hadn't been delusional every time she thought _'what if?' _then dismissed it to the back of her mind or every time she caught him with that smile on his face. All he had to do was say it.

"Jackson?" she pressed the question further.

Simultaneously their internal voices screamed _'Just say it!'_

"_I..." _he began nervously "I don't just care about you April. I mean I do but I do a lot more than just that," he braced himself knowing what was coming next. What he had to say because he wouldn't get another chance to. "I love you."

With that the whole world stopped for an instant. April wanted to say something- anything-to the beautiful man standing in front of her but words seemed to her caught in her throat. As silence filled the space between them April saw anguish cross Jackson's face. He was beginning to regret what he'd just said. _'Ofcourse she doesn't feel the same' _he thought dejectedly.

She knew what she wanted to say but the words just weren't coming out. April knew she had to say something or else the moment would pass and she'd lose him. Feeling defeated Jackson began turn away- he'd said his piece, she didn't feel the same, he'd just have to live with that (somehow). Then he felt her reach out to stop him. A bolt of hope struck him as he looked at her perfect face coming towards his. Cautiously she kissed him, afraid to keep going as well as afraid to stop. He kissed back. It wasn't weird, it was natural and so much better than either of them had previously imagined it would be.

They were absorbed in the moment when Derek walked into the kitchen half asleep

"Oh, sorry, I'm leaving" he said embarrassed after he'd noticed what he'd walked in on "Pretend I was never here." and then he about turned- no doubt running back upstairs to tell Meredith. April and Jackson let out a laugh.

"Em... that was awkward" he said with a smile

"Yup" giggled April who was still level with Jackson "I do too, you know... love you."

"Really? Good, I wasn't sure for a sec there." He joked as if what just happened wasn't enough of an indicator.

"Shut up!" muttered April who pulled Jackson forward again, this time with more confidence.

The next morning April's alarm buzzed her into consciousness. Her eyes fluttered open and what she saw made her think she was still dreaming. Jackson was snoring right beside- topless and completely perfect. The topless part made her take a double look. She tried to suppress a laugh. Reaching over delicately she switched off the alarm then wriggled back into position in Jackson's arms. It had been a night of firsts; their first kiss, her first time and most satisfying of all the first night Jackson had slept soundly without a single nightmare.


End file.
